Multiple Dreams? Synthesize Your Dreams!

Posted by LisaMurray on May 3, 2010

Sometimes I get afraid to go for ONE of my dreams wholeheartedly because I’m afraid that the success of that dream will take over my life and I won’t be able to accomplish all of my other dreams. For instance, I love talking to people about their dreams. I was a psychology major in college. At one point, I considered becoming a psychologist. But the artist inside of me screamed out from the depths of my soul, “NOOOO!!! I HAVE DREAMS DAMMIT!”

I have always believed I am meant to connect with a broader audience and that I am meant to do that through my art. I could be a “motivational speaker” as many people have told me (thank you by the way!), but I don’t want to be. When I picture myself doing that, I get a feeling of sadness inside. I love helping people. I love analyzing my thoughts, emotions, perceptions, beliefs, etc. but what’s in my heart is to express those things artistically. I remember when there was a fork in my road and I had an opportunity to either further my psychology studies or further my filmmaking studies, I had an epiphany.

I want to help people who aren’t looking for help and/or don’t realize they need it, that’s why I want to express my message through art.

First, let me put this disclaimer in here: I LOVE PSYCHOLOGISTS & MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKERS! I wouldn’t be who I am today with out the work of so many wonderful people who studied the issues that I found myself in as a child. As a teenage, I gravitated towards “self-help” books and even asked my parents if I could see a counselor. So please don’t take this like I don’t respect their work, I do, immensely. I’m just talking about ME – what’s right for ME. The thing I always have to fight against is the feedback I get from people is 1) “You should be a motivational speaker”, 2) “You should be a psychologist”, 3) “You should be a comedian!” (I’ll explain the last part later!) But nobody ever said to me, “You should be an actress, a documentary filmmaker, a blogger, an artist, a visionary person who synthesizes art forms together to put a message into the world”. I know, why would they? But the point is, it’s important to get feedback that mirrors what’s in your heart, what you TALK about all the time from a young age.

If you have kids, pay attention to the things they LIKE, the things they TALK ABOUT and mirror back to them why you think they’d be good at that. Like, “I noticed you really like watching dance shows. Have you ever thought about taking dance classes? You’d be really good at it because you’re very athletic.” Don’t be pushy about it. Just reflect back to them your observations and then let it go. You have just planted a powerful seed into the mind of your child. Whether they pursue it as a career or hobby or not is not the point, it’s about putting attention on the things that call naturally to their spirit. In the future, they will start to do that for themselves. That’s how you help children honor their hearts that they will take with them into adulthood!

Okay, back to the most important topic of all… ME. (so kidding – well…not really) But I never had the right stuff reflected back to me. My parents really didn’t want to support what I loved and talked about all the time: acting. They ignored me if I brought it up. If I went to an audition as a teenager and came back and told them about it, how I had gotten called back at a very competitive Summer musical theater touring group, they literally ignored me. They would change the subject and start talking about something else. (It continues to this day. They just don’t get the “entertainment industry” but anyway, I digress.) So not only did that hurt me deeply, it confused me. I tried as hard as I could to stay connected to my dream despite their reactions. The other part that really messed with my head was the fact that they would ENCOURAGE shit I hated!!! One time I got a job at a home store as a “cashier”. I was quickly promoted to “Assistant Manager” and my mom almost cried when I told her. Okay, mind you, I was taking screenwriting & filmmaking classes at the time and writing a lot of great shit and this job was just to pay my bills. There is nothing wrong with being a cashier or an assistant manager, but my mom should have LISTENED to ME and encouraged what was important in my heart, not some stupid-ass bill-paying job! She said (with a semi-fake tear in her eye), “I’m so proud of you.” That was SO IRRITATING because she was saying it like it was really hard to be come a “cashier with keys” (aka “assistant manager”) at this stupid store – which it wasn’t, the last person walked out so voila! there I was and they offered it to me. But it was also irritating because once again she was making this bill-paying job more important that what makes me come alive and even what I’m perhaps gifted at. She’s never asked to read anything I’ve written so she wouldn’t now whether I was gifted at it or not. But once again the message was sent to me, “the only thing you matter for in this life is doing stuff that anybody can do but you do it and you get a paycheck for it”. That is how I get love and attention from my family. I realize they just might not understand how to support my artistic interests, and that the entertainment industry is something no parent wants their kids to get into, but like it or not, I’ve been acting, singing, dancing, writing, filming, taking pictures, having my picture taken and everything else since I was like 4 or 5 putting on my first skits for my grandparents.

This thing, this elephant in the room called “Lisa’s Dream” has been around since the beginning and guess what, IT’S STILL HERE. It ain’t goin’ nowheres!! But I’m crazy and so I held on and dealt with some messed up mashizzle for a long time to get to this point. I think about how many people aren’t “crazy” enough to go against that pressure and so they bury what makes them happy and they just set their lives up to get that paycheck and it makes me sad as hell and that is what drives me to put out video blogs talking about dreams and trying to encourage people. So my initial dream is to be a performer and my secondary dream is to help people not forget their dreams. Right now, my secondary dream is at the forefront, but soon, my initial dream will take center stage for a while. And this brings me back to the topic of this blog: DREAM SYNTHESIS.

Life has a way of sucking you down a path and then that path keeps you so busy that you end up burring the other dreams that you have which really puts you back in the same position you were in the beginning of not going for your dreams! Do you know what I mean? It’s like, the point is, to always follow your heart, to follow your bliss, to follow that feeling inside of you, that thing that makes you come alive! It doesn’t matter what the reason is for you not following it, if something is pulling you away from doing that, or causing you to feel like you have to bury all of your other dreams, it’s not good.

I believe we can “have it all” but not necessarily at the same time AND you have to work at it. What do I mean by working at it? Well, it means that you have to write out all of your dreams (and update it from time to time as new dreams come along and old dreams are checked off or removed) and don’t let yourself forget about or bury any of them. Sit with your list and figure out a way to SYNTHESIZE your dreams so that your life becomes a reflection of YOU – all things that interest YOU and call to your spirit. Maybe you will do one dream for a while and then put that on hold while you pursue another one and then you’ll go back to the first one, or create 5 new ones! It’s up to YOU. It’s YOUR life and that feeling that is inside of you, it is meant for you to manifest.

And so I am utilizing my love of psychology and spirituality with my blogs and my current documentary (“I Have Dreams, Dammit!”) and I am also expressing my other interests:  photography, rescuing dogs, decorating, and entertaining and soon I will be getting back into performing.  We all have many dreams and it’s important to listen to each one and bring them to life in our lives.  If there is ONE DREAM I would say it’s the dream to be open to all of our dreams and not to bury any one of them!  SYNTHESIZE BABY!  SYNTHESIZE!!